moving on and out April 30, 2008

Summer is just around the corner. The corner being tomorrow’s exam and packing up and moving out. How can this year have gone by so fast? Everything just went by so quickly and I don’t feel like I’ve taken a deep breathe since move-in in August. It was my junior year and there was so much possibility when my parents helped me unpack. And I think this year has lived up to everything I hoped it to be. And for the first time, going into the summer, there is nothing holding me back. There is only everything to go forward to.

Now here’s the whole summer business to take care of. Again there is so much possibility there. And Georgia? I  believe that this summer isn’t going to be anything other than fantastic. I have a pact to live up to too. It’s kind of an amazing pact, and one that I am more than ready for. I’m sure you’ll get more details out of me later but right now I’m keeping it hush hush. But let’s just say, this summer is going to be so much fun. Not to mention my 21st birthday is a little over a month away.

If you need some girly inspiration or just some fun procrastinating, check out iCiNG. It’s from this crazy fun girl and there are articles on everything. Especially on living your best life. Here’s something I got from the site that has really inspired me:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson

The only thing I want right now? Some summer sun to warm me up!

mad skills April 27, 2008

I was reading popserious today instead of studying for my finals (like right now I’m posting on this instead of studying). One of the bloggers on the site commented on something she found on Jezebel. Apparently Esquire has a list of skills every man should master. So this woman came up with ones that she thought she should all women should master. Like the other blogger I was inspired because they were amazing ways to live your life. Naturally I have to share my favorites with you:

“Tell the truth.
I can’t make it tonight. I have a date. I’m interested in your ex-boyfriend. When you cheated on your husband it really disturbed me. You should maybe look into taking responsibility for your actions. “I would like to put a hit out on your therapist.” It’s not easy.

Withhold information.
Gossip is analogous to bacteria; humankind could not survive without it, but it can be deleterious in an unhealthy context. Get into the habit of withholding a certain amount of pointless amusing information just to keep your immune system in shape.

Take nothing personally.
He didn’t do it to hurt you, and if he did, that’s fucking weird. Humans are self-obsessed, that’s the only reason you think this is about you, when it’s really about something that has left people much smarter than us befuddled for millennia now, so you might as well focus on what you can control, which leads me to…

Take yourself personally.
Your persistent low self-esteem: how did it get that way? Were you awkward growing up? Not quick or witty enough? Just ugly? Once you gained a shred of confidence, did you blow your wad seeking out companions you knew would make you feel inadequate? Why? Think you’re a narcissist? Or just a weak person? Guess what? We’re all different. We’re all completely individual assemblages of genetic traits and collected experiences. We’re all special, which is precisely what makes us so un-special. If you harbor lingering dissatisfaction with yourself, figuring out what it is is a pretty good way to start coming to terms with that.

Get off.
It has never been easier. There are vibrators at CVS. Porn is an ill-advised Google Image Search away. And really, we all need sex. If you masturbate enough, you’ll only seek out casual sex for self-affirmation. And knowing you are doing that will make it a lot easier to handle rejection!

Get hit on politely.
Go ahead and smile, make eye contact; he’s probably not trying to rape you. The sexual charge will defuse over time and in the interim you can maybe make a friend. Dudes bear an unfair percentage of the responsibility for flirting in this society, just as we bear an unfair percentage of the responsibility for looking pretty. Let’s be sympathetic to one another, how about?

Cry.
There’s an unlimited number of reasons you should. To do anything about any of that you have to stop crying eventually. You’ll know when.

On second thought, laugh!
God, don’t we feel lame after all that crying? So lame we actually laughed at that Dane Cook bit on the lameness of crying. Anything will make you laugh when you’ve finally gotten sick of crying, but hey, that’s cool, dudes love it when you laugh at your jokes and that heady mix of “no pride” and “no standards” is the essence of funny jokes and good drunken one-night stands. Try to laugh as much as possible.

Know when you truly cannot do something.
And fuck no I am not talking about living heavy objects or figuring out how to use Excel. I’m talking about making as much money as your sorority friends, or having a child by 35, or marrying your boyfriend, or being anything better than mediocre at something you think is important.

Be alone.
If you’re bored, you may be on some level boring. Of course, we all are. Why do you want to hang out with your boring friends anyway? There are a lot of unboring people who have dedicated their lives to making books and movies and videogames to keep you happy.

Break up with someone before you cheat on them.

Tell someone you’re mad before you find yourself getting passive-aggressive.
This was the suggestion of my roommate. Ha.

Better yet, ignore the anger.
It will find more useful targets. “

I love the rule to take nothing personally. I have been working to nothing too seriously so this will just be an added bonus. Other things that I didn’t include on the list were “chopping vegetables like Penelope Cruz in Volver” (haven’t seen it still), “invest in the stock market”, “assemble your own furniture,” “call your mom” and some others. But seriously, I love lists like this.

my best friend’s wedding April 23, 2008

If a guy friend starts liking your girl friend, are you supposed to be angry? Are you supposed to feel weird? What if you’re the friend? I’m not having this problem currently but a friend of mine is and I started thinking about the whole weird mess that is guy/girl friendships.

Okay, let me explain the situation better. I’m talking about when you have a mix of guy and girl friends, which you should. I think the messy part comes in when you start to have close guy friends. And when said guy friend starts to be attracted to one of your girl friends. How are you supposed to feel? I have heard a lot of girls state that it is a simple betrayal of friendship. My feeling is, you can’t deny how you feel, things just start going that way.

Then there’s the other situation where the guy you’re digging starts liking one of your friends. There isn’t any reason you can’t start feeling green with jealousy. But I think what you have to remember, and I’m going to try to remember this if I ever happen to be here, is you and your friends are alike. That’s why you get along so well. So it’s only natural that a guy who’s somewhat attracted to you would become attracted to your friend. If you guys weren’t meshing quite right to date, maybe the quirk in your girl friend’s personality that makes her her is what is going to make them work rather than you.

It must be springtime if I’m thinking way too much about guys and relationships. I think probably the biggest thing I have to remind myself is that it is always about having fun.

leading ladies April 15, 2008

You know what I hate a lot but I seem to be unable to avoid? Not knowing what I want. I get myself in these situations where I sit around and think and think and think. I try to figure out where I want to go with whatever it is. When I face such indecision, it makes me frustrated. I’m not indecisive. I don’t have issues making a decision, for myself or others. I know what path I want my life to take and am going to take it. So when there’s a problem that I can’t just make a quick decision on, it eats me up inside. I guess that’s what happens when you are a little bit of a compulsive perfectionist.

I had one such problem until about 10am this morning. I was sitting at work, casually surfing Facebook instead of doing moisture readings or cataloguing endless stacks of books. I was not really thinking about the issue until suddenly it came to me. What I want is MORE. More, I want it. Instead of wondering, I want to know. Instead of debating my actions, I want to jump on it and do it. So that’s what I am going to do. I expect so much out of every part of my life, why not my private life too?

Watch the part in the Holiday where they talk about the best friend and the leading lady. Arthur tells Iris that she is playing the part of the best friend when she is obviously the leading lady. And then she gets it, she’s supposed to be the leading lady of her own life. That’s how I feel. I will be the leading lady and I’m going to want MORE.

dressing April 14, 2008

It is the official start of dress weather. The day started out in the upper 50s but even that could not stop me. As soon as I woke up, basically dragging myself out of bed, I realized that I had to wear a dress today. A summer sundress just makes everything so much better. Even though I am tired beyond belief because of my roommate’s inability to be quiet when she gets up, I feel better just wearing a dress. I always feel so feminine and pretty. It makes even my crunched-up, super overscheduled days feel okay. Well, sort of.

Along with dress weather comes tanning weather. I have a special place in my heart for hours spent hanging outside soaking up the sun. My friend suggested that we go to a tanning salon. I told her I could not be subjected to a cancer box. I mean, if I’m going to die from skin cancer, I don’t want it to be from lying down in a sterile box. I would rather have enjoyed it. Excuse me right now for sounding shallow and very much like the sorority girl I am. On the other hand, you could be like my roommate. She has spent these past few days dousing herself in Jergens sunless tanner. It is a good thing to use but she is very pale. It is not helping her. And then there is the fact that it smells like cheap hair dye. Then she spends about an hour sitting in our closet waiting for it to dry. Yes, she sits in the closet. Keeping my shoes and dresses hostage.

I am going to prepare for this Friday afternoon of reclining on the lawn and getting a real life tan. It’s only April but hey, I’ve got to be ready for May.

10 peanut m&ms April 9, 2008

I watched this segment on Good Morning America today where they talked about dieting and 100-calorie snacks. At the beginning the woman was showing what quantities of junk food you could consume for 100 calories. She said 1/10th of a Whopper from burger king with all the junks on top. It basically looked like the doll-sized slices of cake I served to Barbie when I was five. Then she pointed to 10 peanut M&Ms and then something else, but I was most intrigued by the peanut M&Ms. I wouldn’t mind only eating 10 of them if that was a 100 calories. This lady also pointed out that you have to stop yourself from eating the whole bag. This would probably be a an issue for me. It makes me sound like a fattie but candy is really really good. It’s sugar and nothing is better than sugar.

It is currently the first week of April. Summer for me officially starts the first week of May, maybe the second week if we want to be picky about weather and such. That means there is one month for me to slog off all this extra weight I put on from stress and school food. I would be happy losing 5-10 pounds and not having such a squishy stomach. After asking my mom about whether I could get away with this body on the beach, she said maybe I should cut out some snacks. I’m thinking it’s more like cut out all dining hall food. And snacks. Maybe I will eat 5 peanut M&Ms and work on this whole diet thing.

outta my head April 9, 2008

I think everyone should have a blog. This would make things more interesting. Except lots of people aren’t good at writing at all, so maybe not everyone should have a blog. But people who are witty should. And people who can write well, unlike me.

I’m only saying this because I’ve been reading a lot of blogs lately and also I’ve been meaning to post something. There are some people who post random stuff about their lives and it’s actually funny. I’m a naturally nosey person too so I like getting to hear what’s up in people’s lives. And it’s so much more interesting when it’s someone you know. Except of the people I know who have blogs are not interesting to read. This includes a lot of my friends who are studying abroad. It’s cool to know what you are doing but tell a story. I do not want to read about your political debate, you are not amusing me. Basically this is just me being selfish and believing everyone cares about my opinion.

Then I think, are people going to read this when I’m in Georgia and think, what is she talking about? Who cares about the fact that her housemates suck or her butt’s sore from riding a bike? (These are things I am anticipating and I am dreading) I’m going to try to practice writing well so that when I am in Georgia for the WHOLE summer, I will tell good stories and not about the cayenne shrimp I made. Which reminds me, I need to get that food network recipe.

This is just practice, I know I suck at keeping a blog.

on my mind April 6, 2008

This girl right here just so happens to be spending her summer in Georgia. That’s right, Georgia. If you’ve never been to this state right in the heart of the south, you’re missing out. But I’m not just spending my summer in Georgia, I’m spending it on an island off the Georgian coast. Okay, so it’s going to be hot and it’s going to be buggy and I’m going to be away from my family and friends. But I am going to be having the adventure of a lifetime. I’m the kind of person who can’t look back and think maybe that would have been a fun thing to do. Nope, any time I’ve got an opportunity to do something different, I take it. Even if it sucks hardcore, I’ll still be happy that I took the jump. I like to live with no regrets.

What is Georgia going to be like? I don’t know. Before I went to Atlanta and Tybee Island, I was just like every other Northern in my thoughts about the peach state. Basically Georgia’s a state full of hicks and fields. It’s basically the most beautiful state with the friendliest people. I’m not sure what it’s going to be like to live and work there. I’m going to be so close to the beach and I’ll be the Jersey girl surrounded by southerners. I’ll also be working in a museum studies program on the island, so I’m also following my dream. It’s hard to sit through less than a month of school when all I want to do is pack my bags and get my summer started.