shopping baggage July 28, 2009

Shopping is a problem. Actually, scratch that. Shopping is never a problem for me. I love clothes, accessories, handbags, beauty supplies, and shoes, shoes, shoes. I even have a ball when I go shopping with the old people at work and have to help these finicky shoppers pick something that fits into their budget. But I say it’s a problem only because I too have tastes that fit outside my budget. There is finally more money in my bank account than the $200 I managed to stretch from late April to the end of May. But there still isn’t enough money to justify making all the purchases I have in mind. Case #1 would be a pair of $100 jeans I fell in love with at Anthropologie. In this age of inflated prices, that’s not an unusual price tag. But I turned them down simply because I didn’t feel at that moment I could take the hit of $100 in my bank account. Now I can’t stop thinking about them and how good they made my butt look. Should I have taken the plunge?

I am trying to answer that question as I navigate my way into the world of grown-up spending. I actually have it pretty good since I am living at home so food and rent are pretty much taken care of. I’ve built up a nice little savings for the day my loan payments start in November. And there’s the temptation that I finally, finally have a little bit of cash at my disposal. I am conflicted about taking that plunge on what still seem like big ticket items to me. The jeans were one thing because I knew I didn’t really need them. Now I have my sights set on a nice handbag. I’m tired of the grungy ones I have and of turning to cheap but still cute alternatives. The thing is, am I ready to pull out my credit card for the perfect handbag even if it’s got a big price tag? I believe that as long as I budget for those items, I think I can start purchasing all those things that will make me feel more like I’m out of school and ready to take on the world looking sophisticated and cute.

weekly goals, last week of july July 28, 2009

I have been absent from this blog for far too long; for goodness sakes I missed Good Things Thursday! (which is my favorite post every week, if only because it’s easy to write and reminds me to be grateful) My absence is only partly due to my laziness and another part due to travel, my most favorite (and probably most expensive) hobby. One weekend was spent in DC with friends visiting monuments and rediscovering the city that I lived near for the past four years. This past weekend was spent down in Florida with my family soaking up the sun. So much fun! But now I’m back home, for a little while at least. For my first post of the week, yes I’m promising more posts for this week and you should hold me to it, I am going to write down my new short term goals. The list is probably going to change but this is what I’m going to work on for this week at least.

• Complete my To Do list by Friday so my weekend can be open for fun and/or relaxation
• Find something to do in my area when I’m not working so I can meet more people and have more experiences
• Work on improving my room, like finally hanging my photos and organizing my messy desk area
• Get my photos printed so I can work on my scrapbooks, especially the one from my Dominican vacation which was four months ago!
• Plan a party for next month that involves cocktails, dinner, and decoration, all on my own so as to put my domestic diva skills to work (seriously I am totally going to have the housewife thing down before I even get married!)

Accomplishable? Yes, I believe so. Another goal I don’t even need to write down is that this weekend should be spent relaxing and relishing in some alone time.

making the best July 23, 2009

The greatest lesson I’ve learned so far this summer is making the best of your current situation. It’s made me a lot more relaxed and happier because I’ve finally realized there are so many things that are out of my control. When I was trying to get my dream job right out of college and move to a new city and find a new and better boyfriend, essentially create my dream life right then and there, I was going crazy and getting crazy depressed because my life wasn’t happening at all the way I had imagined it. I can’t control the crappy economy and I can’t force myself into a better, loving relationship in a month, things like that just happen. I have learned that you need to be happy with what you have right now, though to not be complacent. There is always room in your life for goals and dreams but you also have to be able to make yourself happy with what you have when life is out of your control. Otherwise life is going to be miserable for you, even when you get everything you want. And on that note, I’ll give you my tips for making life a lot more enjoyable when you’re in a place you never thought you’d be:

• Don’t stress about your life goals. They’re “life” goals for a reason; they don’t have to happen right away. Eventually you’ll get married, eventually you’ll work in marketing, eventually you’ll move to San Diego. Right now you can take positive steps in that direction. Example: I want to go to grad school for art history and it requires being fluent in a language. I am going to audit classes at a university to brush up on my French since I actually have time to do it.
• Find something about your new, maybe-not-what-you-expected/wanted job that inspires you. This may be a difficult task if you’re stuck doing a boring office job but try to find something about it that you really enjoy. Maybe fool around with the new version of Word to figure out how to create cool reports or try to make an even more efficient filing system at work than the one they have. It always looks good at any job to try to do your best; remember you might need a recommendation later on. For me, it’s been tackling the challenge of creating an activity program for our residents suffering from Alzheimer’s and dementia. I want to make a difference in people’s lives and here I am doing it in a way I never thought I would.
• Make new fun. Especially coming out of college where fun could be right down the hall, being out of college is a little bit more difficult in that department. Be creative and make fun in unexpected ways; explore where you are and find out what’s going on. Don’t be afraid to go by yourself, nobody’s paying attention to that except for maybe the cute guy across the way. And fun can even be as easy as dancing around your room to new music just bought off iTunes.
• Everything happens for a reason. This phrase used to annoy me to no end because you can’t always see why certain things happen. But eventually you will, I promise, and it can be good or bad but it happens to make you, you. Things don’t work out, things change to give you the opportunity to have even better experiences and relationships than you ever imagined. You’ve just got to have faith, forever and always.

Life is truly what you make of it. If you can make the best of it, life is going to be the best. It’s that simple.

sunday weddings July 12, 2009

As I’ve been sitting in my room this gorgeous Sunday afternoon, finally getting in a good day of relaxation, I was flipping through various websites (is flipping the right term? I just don’t like to say “surfing”; it sounds so dorky) including the New York Times. Knowing what’s going in the world is a secret to success in my book. How can you plan to conquer the world when you don’t even know what the issues are?

I read almost all of the sections of the New York Times, except for the Science section and I spend a lot more time in the Styles, Home and Garden and Dining than anywhere else. But I must confess the most mortifying secret: the Wedding section with its feature story printed on Sunday is my favorite part of the paper. I feel like Katherine Heigl’s character in 27 Dresses though, thankfully, I don’t collect the stories or recite them from memory.

What draws me every Sunday to the stories is how incredibly sweet and amazing they are. Stories of high school sweethearts reconnecting in their 30s to discover they were still in love, two addicts overcoming the odds and falling for one another, passengers on a plane from opposite coasts discover love over a weekend, they are all stories of incredible love that it’s hard to believe exists sometimes. I may present a hard exterior of a girl happier in non-committal relationships, fully able to relish my freedom, but deep down I am very much a romantic at heart. It touches me to think that despite everything that happens in the world, these men and women could find the one person to share their dreams and their happiness. It’s scary to think it might be luck that brings you together with the right one for you but it also gives me hope that it can happen. It might even happen for me when the time is right just like Heigl says in the movie, “Someday will be my day.”

july 9th July 10, 2009

It’s Thursday again;  how did that happen?! I feel like the weeks of my summer are flying by. I am going to have to try to slow down my life and enjoy it all before it passes by just like last summer! My good things for this Thursday are as follows:

• Mrs. Field’s Cookie Ice Cream Sandwiches- totally addictive, thank God they’re sold by the ice cream man and are not currently in my freezer. An absolutely delicious decision I made over getting my ice cream truck standby, the Screwball.
• Driving my Mom’s car- a cute girl in a sporty BMW gets looks everywhere and anywhere. It’s even better when I use the awesome speakers to blast T.I. and Kellie Pickler, in that order of course.
• Shopping!- I stopped shopping for a little long while when it was necessitated by lack of funds. But I’m back out there with lots of graduation giftcards and birthday money. Last night I bought the cutest dress at Forever 21, strapless tie-dyed and tiered. My wardrobe needs perfecting asap.
• The Tipping Point and other such books- anything that inspires me to think differently right now is much appreciated. Just finished The Tipping Point tonight and now trying to find ways to implement these strategies at work and in life. Gotta love inspiration.
• Planning cute outfits for work- in high school, embarassingly enough, I wanted to make sure I had good outfits to wear every day of the week so I would create a chart Sunday night of what to wear Monday through Friday. After awhile I stopped this over-the-top organization of my life but I didn’t get tired of planning outfits until college. But now I’m back and having fun with clothes again.

“Losing him does not matter. It is you who will be found—and cherished.” -The Joy Luck Club

improvement July 8, 2009

Improvement is sometimes seen as a dirty word. Because if you need to improve then you’re imperfect and who wants to be imperfect? But improvement can be exhilarating and challenge you to never be boring. I am constantly working on improving myself and discovering how interesting I can be and become. Making promises to improve and to actual work at improving yourself are two different things though. There have been plenty of times when I have told myself I am going to do this, this, and this and have done none of this. Success at being a better person can only be achieved through lots of hardwork. I am proud to say at this very important turning point in my life, I am actually actively pursuing goals I have set for improvement.

These goals may change but right now this is what I am working on. First I am going to use my 20s to help people. I believe that I am doing that with my current job, doing my best to make each day fun for seniors, but I want to do more. I am going to try to find a volunteer program in the area that I would like to devote a good deal of my time to. Second I have been evaluating my past romantic relationships in my overly analytical and organized manner. I do not have any need at this stage in my life, when things are so unstable, to begin something. But at least I’m prepared. And third, I am reading books that are extremely interesting and are teaching me things. I love to read but during the summer I tend to gravitate more towards chick lit because I spent the past school semester taking in way too much information. But now I am not going back to school in the fall so I decided to pursue books that are going to keep teaching me new things. I also want to read books that change my view of the world. Right now I’m reading Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point but there are many more to come. That’s just what I’m working on right now but I’m sure there are more improvement goals to come.

july 2nd July 3, 2009

It’s another Thursday and despite being my lazy self after a day of work, I am going to be diligent about getting at least my Thursday posts up. Because there’s nothing better than picking out the good things on my Thursday.

1. Loving my job- right now I am in the ultimate state of bliss about my job. Every day is fun, though not every part of every day which is okay, and I’m always learning new things. I never thought I would come back to this job and have so much fun doing it but here I am. Life is unexpectedly amazing sometimes.

2. Reading my horoscope for the month of July- I never read my horoscope really. Sometimes in passing in a magazine I’ll check it out but I have never been to one of those intense sites like I did today. Basically it had a lot of stuff that I don’t understand about planets being in this place or house or whatever but it did tell me that I will get some money and I will have some romance in my life. Yes please to all of the above.

3. Fireworks- it’s the Fourth of July weekend and it comes with my favorite thing in the world: fireworks! Honestly the man of my dreams would propose to me the week of the Fourth at some fireworks show, that is how obsessed I am. I saw them tonight and they were just as beautiful as every other display. Much love for the fourth of July.

4. Finding motivation once again- June was a huge loss of focus. Of course it was the month I got a job but for most of it, I felt completely lost (just read my June entries and you’ll see). I am working on getting back my motivation to achieve, to do more, to be the best and happiest me as I go on into July. It helps that I feel like I’m already on the right track in so many ways. Now about that book I plan to write, that’s where I need the motivation!

5. Sunny days- there was nothing worse than the doom and gloom of this past June (shut up, I know it rhymes). I am a person that lives off of sunshine, kind of like a plant, only I also love food. Sun makes me feel better and we’ve finally had some good weather these past few days. This meant trips to the beach with more coming up, spending the afternoons on the back patio at work, and driving with the windows down and the music blaring, my favorite part of a sunny summer.

“Did you really think your destiny was a one way street? You gotta be ready for anything/ Just set your whole life free”   -Go Figure, Everlife

wandering July 2, 2009

I have a restless soul, probably developed over the years by many, many family vacations and always having exciting and new experiences. For some reason I just feel better when I’m moving. Of course the same goes with my life in general but that’s a whole other issue. And what better time than summer to travel and have new experiences? You’ve already read about my fantastic journey to Rome. Now I’m fantasizing about places I want to travel, starting with my U.S. list.

1. Austin, TX- I have this strong desire, a completely random desire really, to travel to Texas and see what it’s all about. I have heard great things about the artsy Austin scene with lots of music and fun hang-outs. I want to see Texas but its creative side.

2. Pittsburgh, PA- Okay, not the most obvious choice for a summer trip but Pennsylvania is beautiful in the summer, especially to drive through which is exactly how I would get there…road trip! I am also dying to visit the home city of Andy Warhol and visit his Factory and museum. Plus the historic preservationist in me wants to check out the architecture of city built when the steel industry was hot.

3. Colorado- I’m not sure where I want to go in Colorado, though I’m leaning heavily towards Boulder because I’ve heard its a great city that really shows off the beauty of Colorado. I’m not picky; Colorado is on my travel list and no matter where I pick, I’ll make it there someday.

4. Nashville, TN- the home of country music is the perfect place for me to explore. Plus Karen Elson, the famous red haired model, has a vintage clothing store there that I read about in May’s Vogue and put on my list of places I’ve always wanted to shop (I’m a girl with a lot of lists, okay?) I also just want to be down south again, I’m missing their boys!

5. Chicago- I do want to go there, though I’m not sure I want to head there this summer. There a lot of other places I’ve been that I would go to first but I still want to head to the big Midwestern city. Obviously I want to hit up all the Chicago museums which have some of the best artwork in the nation and of course to hit up the miracle mile of shopping.

That’s my list of places in the U.S. that I haven’t been to and would love to visit soon. I limited to 5 places but there are lots more that I’m on the fence about visiting like Louisville, Phoenix, Raliegh, Tampa (which I kind of visited but not really, it’s a long story), and Santa Fe. There are also plenty of places that I’ve visited and want to again: Savannah, Boston, DC, and Charleston to name a few. Not to mention my huge craving for an awesome road trip. Seriously, I love to travel.

can’t go back June 28, 2009

I’ll admit it, sometimes I miss the love that I used to have, even if I know now that it wasn’t good love. But there are those moments, those perfect moments that you just can’t forget and makes you miss that love. I thought that I was going to come out the other side of breaking up and be cautious of being that happy again. But if anything I feel more hopeful that I can find someone to share my happiness and love me again. And so in my state of optimism I will grace you with some country song lyrics that made me think of old love.

“The summer air was heavy and sweet/ You and I on a crowded street/ There was music everywhere, I can see us there/ In a happy little foreign town/ Where the stars hung upside down/ A half a world away, far, far away/ I remember you were laughing/ We were so in love, we were so in love/ And the band played songs we had never heard/ But we danced anyway…

They say you can’t go back/ Baby, I don’t believe that/ Come along with me, come dance with me/ Maybe if I hold you close/ Baby, we could just let go/ Of those things that tie us down, we’ll come back around/ Do you remember, we were laughing/ We were so in love, so in love…” -We Danced Anyway, Deanna Carter

“When all our tears have reached the sea/ Part of you will live in me/ Way down deep inside my heart…

You’ll find better love/ Strong as it ever was/ Deep as the river runs/ Warm as the morning sun/ Please remember me…

Remember me when you’re out walking/ When the snow falls high outside your door/ Late at night when you’re not sleeping/ And moonlight falls across your floor/ When I can’t hurt you anymore…” -Please Remember Me, Tim McGraw

“Do I recall, every day/ How you took my breath away?/ Do I remember loving you?/ Yes I do…

Yes I do dream of all we had together/ Yes it’s true we lost it forever/ And do I pray anyway?/ Yes I do…

I don’t live in the past/ Wanting love that wouldn’t last/ I don’t ache like I used to…” -Yes I Do, Rascal Flatts

i see london, i see france June 26, 2009

For the first eleven or twelve years of my life, I wasn’t very concerned with what I put on. This would come as a shock to most people that know me now as the shopaholic who makes sure she looks good on her way to drop off the dvd at the movie store. Seriously, I have an outfit, a cute outfit, for anything. For the past twenty-one years of my life, I have been wholly unconcerned with what I put on under those clothes, even as I obsessed over every piece the public could see. I’m talking about my lingerie, those sometimes forgotten but always present pieces.

I’m a big advocate for comfort. When my girl friends succumbed to thongs with their jeans during that whole craze, I just lifted my eyebrows. A pair of bikinis would work just fine for me. I carried that attitude with me to college. Really if someone actually got my pants off then they were probably more concerned with other things than what style of underwear I was wearing. That’s not to say I was wearing raggedy old granny panties out to college parties but I wasn’t splurging on what I saw during Victoria’s Secret’s annual runway show. But a latent interest in lingerie has recently woken itself up and has me considering my drawer full of boyshorts and bikinis (with an ocassional exciting pair thrown in, I’m not totally boring). I almost forgot about my functional bras with the most exciting being my favorite Calvin Klein front clasp black push-up. That’s about as fancy as I get in that department. And let’s not talk about matching.

I considered my lingerie the other day when I paired one of my black push-up pairs with what can basically be described as Victoria Secret Pink’s version of granny panties, only cuter. During my last relationship, I never felt he was really concerned with what I was wearing when he got my clothes off. We did go lingerie shopping together but he had a whole lot of fun picking out cute cotton bikinis and boyshorts that I was perfectly comfortable with. The bras were never even mentioned because of their insignificance in the whole bedroom scheme. But now I’m considering those silky, sexy pieces that I never thought of before.

I’m not doing it thinking that when I get with some guy the first thing I want him to see is a matching set. It’s for me; I want to know I have cute underthings on because I know that when I do, I’ll feel even more sexy and confident. I want to go from utilitarian to fun and flirty; it’s even more exciting because it’s somewhere most  people don’t even get to see. The best changes you make are ones you make for a better you and this is what updating my lingerie collection will do for me. Now I wish I could buy the beautiful pale pink demi bra I saw at Bendel’s for $90 but that will just have to wait for another, richer, day.