july 9th July 10, 2009

It’s Thursday again;  how did that happen?! I feel like the weeks of my summer are flying by. I am going to have to try to slow down my life and enjoy it all before it passes by just like last summer! My good things for this Thursday are as follows:

• Mrs. Field’s Cookie Ice Cream Sandwiches- totally addictive, thank God they’re sold by the ice cream man and are not currently in my freezer. An absolutely delicious decision I made over getting my ice cream truck standby, the Screwball.
• Driving my Mom’s car- a cute girl in a sporty BMW gets looks everywhere and anywhere. It’s even better when I use the awesome speakers to blast T.I. and Kellie Pickler, in that order of course.
• Shopping!- I stopped shopping for a little long while when it was necessitated by lack of funds. But I’m back out there with lots of graduation giftcards and birthday money. Last night I bought the cutest dress at Forever 21, strapless tie-dyed and tiered. My wardrobe needs perfecting asap.
• The Tipping Point and other such books- anything that inspires me to think differently right now is much appreciated. Just finished The Tipping Point tonight and now trying to find ways to implement these strategies at work and in life. Gotta love inspiration.
• Planning cute outfits for work- in high school, embarassingly enough, I wanted to make sure I had good outfits to wear every day of the week so I would create a chart Sunday night of what to wear Monday through Friday. After awhile I stopped this over-the-top organization of my life but I didn’t get tired of planning outfits until college. But now I’m back and having fun with clothes again.

“Losing him does not matter. It is you who will be found—and cherished.” -The Joy Luck Club

improvement July 8, 2009

Improvement is sometimes seen as a dirty word. Because if you need to improve then you’re imperfect and who wants to be imperfect? But improvement can be exhilarating and challenge you to never be boring. I am constantly working on improving myself and discovering how interesting I can be and become. Making promises to improve and to actual work at improving yourself are two different things though. There have been plenty of times when I have told myself I am going to do this, this, and this and have done none of this. Success at being a better person can only be achieved through lots of hardwork. I am proud to say at this very important turning point in my life, I am actually actively pursuing goals I have set for improvement.

These goals may change but right now this is what I am working on. First I am going to use my 20s to help people. I believe that I am doing that with my current job, doing my best to make each day fun for seniors, but I want to do more. I am going to try to find a volunteer program in the area that I would like to devote a good deal of my time to. Second I have been evaluating my past romantic relationships in my overly analytical and organized manner. I do not have any need at this stage in my life, when things are so unstable, to begin something. But at least I’m prepared. And third, I am reading books that are extremely interesting and are teaching me things. I love to read but during the summer I tend to gravitate more towards chick lit because I spent the past school semester taking in way too much information. But now I am not going back to school in the fall so I decided to pursue books that are going to keep teaching me new things. I also want to read books that change my view of the world. Right now I’m reading Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point but there are many more to come. That’s just what I’m working on right now but I’m sure there are more improvement goals to come.

july 2nd July 3, 2009

It’s another Thursday and despite being my lazy self after a day of work, I am going to be diligent about getting at least my Thursday posts up. Because there’s nothing better than picking out the good things on my Thursday.

1. Loving my job- right now I am in the ultimate state of bliss about my job. Every day is fun, though not every part of every day which is okay, and I’m always learning new things. I never thought I would come back to this job and have so much fun doing it but here I am. Life is unexpectedly amazing sometimes.

2. Reading my horoscope for the month of July- I never read my horoscope really. Sometimes in passing in a magazine I’ll check it out but I have never been to one of those intense sites like I did today. Basically it had a lot of stuff that I don’t understand about planets being in this place or house or whatever but it did tell me that I will get some money and I will have some romance in my life. Yes please to all of the above.

3. Fireworks- it’s the Fourth of July weekend and it comes with my favorite thing in the world: fireworks! Honestly the man of my dreams would propose to me the week of the Fourth at some fireworks show, that is how obsessed I am. I saw them tonight and they were just as beautiful as every other display. Much love for the fourth of July.

4. Finding motivation once again- June was a huge loss of focus. Of course it was the month I got a job but for most of it, I felt completely lost (just read my June entries and you’ll see). I am working on getting back my motivation to achieve, to do more, to be the best and happiest me as I go on into July. It helps that I feel like I’m already on the right track in so many ways. Now about that book I plan to write, that’s where I need the motivation!

5. Sunny days- there was nothing worse than the doom and gloom of this past June (shut up, I know it rhymes). I am a person that lives off of sunshine, kind of like a plant, only I also love food. Sun makes me feel better and we’ve finally had some good weather these past few days. This meant trips to the beach with more coming up, spending the afternoons on the back patio at work, and driving with the windows down and the music blaring, my favorite part of a sunny summer.

“Did you really think your destiny was a one way street? You gotta be ready for anything/ Just set your whole life free”   -Go Figure, Everlife

wandering July 2, 2009

I have a restless soul, probably developed over the years by many, many family vacations and always having exciting and new experiences. For some reason I just feel better when I’m moving. Of course the same goes with my life in general but that’s a whole other issue. And what better time than summer to travel and have new experiences? You’ve already read about my fantastic journey to Rome. Now I’m fantasizing about places I want to travel, starting with my U.S. list.

1. Austin, TX- I have this strong desire, a completely random desire really, to travel to Texas and see what it’s all about. I have heard great things about the artsy Austin scene with lots of music and fun hang-outs. I want to see Texas but its creative side.

2. Pittsburgh, PA- Okay, not the most obvious choice for a summer trip but Pennsylvania is beautiful in the summer, especially to drive through which is exactly how I would get there…road trip! I am also dying to visit the home city of Andy Warhol and visit his Factory and museum. Plus the historic preservationist in me wants to check out the architecture of city built when the steel industry was hot.

3. Colorado- I’m not sure where I want to go in Colorado, though I’m leaning heavily towards Boulder because I’ve heard its a great city that really shows off the beauty of Colorado. I’m not picky; Colorado is on my travel list and no matter where I pick, I’ll make it there someday.

4. Nashville, TN- the home of country music is the perfect place for me to explore. Plus Karen Elson, the famous red haired model, has a vintage clothing store there that I read about in May’s Vogue and put on my list of places I’ve always wanted to shop (I’m a girl with a lot of lists, okay?) I also just want to be down south again, I’m missing their boys!

5. Chicago- I do want to go there, though I’m not sure I want to head there this summer. There a lot of other places I’ve been that I would go to first but I still want to head to the big Midwestern city. Obviously I want to hit up all the Chicago museums which have some of the best artwork in the nation and of course to hit up the miracle mile of shopping.

That’s my list of places in the U.S. that I haven’t been to and would love to visit soon. I limited to 5 places but there are lots more that I’m on the fence about visiting like Louisville, Phoenix, Raliegh, Tampa (which I kind of visited but not really, it’s a long story), and Santa Fe. There are also plenty of places that I’ve visited and want to again: Savannah, Boston, DC, and Charleston to name a few. Not to mention my huge craving for an awesome road trip. Seriously, I love to travel.

can’t go back June 28, 2009

I’ll admit it, sometimes I miss the love that I used to have, even if I know now that it wasn’t good love. But there are those moments, those perfect moments that you just can’t forget and makes you miss that love. I thought that I was going to come out the other side of breaking up and be cautious of being that happy again. But if anything I feel more hopeful that I can find someone to share my happiness and love me again. And so in my state of optimism I will grace you with some country song lyrics that made me think of old love.

“The summer air was heavy and sweet/ You and I on a crowded street/ There was music everywhere, I can see us there/ In a happy little foreign town/ Where the stars hung upside down/ A half a world away, far, far away/ I remember you were laughing/ We were so in love, we were so in love/ And the band played songs we had never heard/ But we danced anyway…

They say you can’t go back/ Baby, I don’t believe that/ Come along with me, come dance with me/ Maybe if I hold you close/ Baby, we could just let go/ Of those things that tie us down, we’ll come back around/ Do you remember, we were laughing/ We were so in love, so in love…” -We Danced Anyway, Deanna Carter

“When all our tears have reached the sea/ Part of you will live in me/ Way down deep inside my heart…

You’ll find better love/ Strong as it ever was/ Deep as the river runs/ Warm as the morning sun/ Please remember me…

Remember me when you’re out walking/ When the snow falls high outside your door/ Late at night when you’re not sleeping/ And moonlight falls across your floor/ When I can’t hurt you anymore…” -Please Remember Me, Tim McGraw

“Do I recall, every day/ How you took my breath away?/ Do I remember loving you?/ Yes I do…

Yes I do dream of all we had together/ Yes it’s true we lost it forever/ And do I pray anyway?/ Yes I do…

I don’t live in the past/ Wanting love that wouldn’t last/ I don’t ache like I used to…” -Yes I Do, Rascal Flatts

i see london, i see france June 26, 2009

For the first eleven or twelve years of my life, I wasn’t very concerned with what I put on. This would come as a shock to most people that know me now as the shopaholic who makes sure she looks good on her way to drop off the dvd at the movie store. Seriously, I have an outfit, a cute outfit, for anything. For the past twenty-one years of my life, I have been wholly unconcerned with what I put on under those clothes, even as I obsessed over every piece the public could see. I’m talking about my lingerie, those sometimes forgotten but always present pieces.

I’m a big advocate for comfort. When my girl friends succumbed to thongs with their jeans during that whole craze, I just lifted my eyebrows. A pair of bikinis would work just fine for me. I carried that attitude with me to college. Really if someone actually got my pants off then they were probably more concerned with other things than what style of underwear I was wearing. That’s not to say I was wearing raggedy old granny panties out to college parties but I wasn’t splurging on what I saw during Victoria’s Secret’s annual runway show. But a latent interest in lingerie has recently woken itself up and has me considering my drawer full of boyshorts and bikinis (with an ocassional exciting pair thrown in, I’m not totally boring). I almost forgot about my functional bras with the most exciting being my favorite Calvin Klein front clasp black push-up. That’s about as fancy as I get in that department. And let’s not talk about matching.

I considered my lingerie the other day when I paired one of my black push-up pairs with what can basically be described as Victoria Secret Pink’s version of granny panties, only cuter. During my last relationship, I never felt he was really concerned with what I was wearing when he got my clothes off. We did go lingerie shopping together but he had a whole lot of fun picking out cute cotton bikinis and boyshorts that I was perfectly comfortable with. The bras were never even mentioned because of their insignificance in the whole bedroom scheme. But now I’m considering those silky, sexy pieces that I never thought of before.

I’m not doing it thinking that when I get with some guy the first thing I want him to see is a matching set. It’s for me; I want to know I have cute underthings on because I know that when I do, I’ll feel even more sexy and confident. I want to go from utilitarian to fun and flirty; it’s even more exciting because it’s somewhere most  people don’t even get to see. The best changes you make are ones you make for a better you and this is what updating my lingerie collection will do for me. Now I wish I could buy the beautiful pale pink demi bra I saw at Bendel’s for $90 but that will just have to wait for another, richer, day.

june 25th June 26, 2009

It’s Thursday again and I decided to write down all the things that make me happy about my life:

• Engagement celebration! Yes, one of my best friends’ boyfriend took the plunge and proposed. Tomorrow is girls’ night out to celebrate and check out the rock. I am so happy for them and it makes me smile to see my wonderful and deserving friend find the man of her dreams.
• My hair- I seriously have a love affair with my hair and am usually super happy about it. But this week it has looked fantastic even when I have abused it by only half blowdrying it before running off to work. Now I just have to work on it being boringly straight.
• Making friends with tough residents at work- when you get old, you sometimes get cranky. So when you work with the elderly, you can find yourself the recipient of grouchy antics. But I used my powers of persuasion and charm to win over one of these cranks and actually hung out with her…as much as you can hang out with the over eighty crowd.
• Finding good quotes for my inspiration journal- about a month ago, I started to find all these quotes that helped me deal with no exactly ending up where I thought I was going to be post-grad. I keep a journal so I used to scribble them in there but periodically I take all the pages out of my journal to clear my thoughts. I wanted a place to keep these quotes so I could find inspiration easily and that’s how my green leather inspiration journal was born (btw I should also be thankful for my hyper organization). And lately I have been finding really awesome meaningful quotes to make me thankful for my life.
• Pandora-  most people know about what is basically an internet radio called Pandora. I’ve used it off and on for awhile when I get tired of my iTunes. This week I’ve been using it and discovered some great songs, including the song I’m now obsessed with “Cowboy Take Me Away” by the Dixie Chicks.
• Being optimistic about job searching once again- this week I plunged back into finding my dream job, or at least a first job that’s got benefits and all that jazz. And by a wonderful stroke of luck, I found a job that is somewhere I would absolutely love to move. I’m not going to say what or where it is so as not to jinx it but let’s just say it’s making me smile!

“Too many hearts have been broken/ Failing to trust what they feel/ But trust isn’t something that’s spoken/ And love’s never wrong when it’s real.” – “Believe in Me,” Dan Fogelberg

first comes marriage June 23, 2009

Why is everone getting married? Okay so not everyone is getting married but it sure feels like that. Within the past two months I have heard of three couples I know getting engaged, girls I haven’t seen in forever announce that they are going to get engaged soon, and then there are all the weddings. It’s June, wedding season, made obvious by “Wedding Crashers,” so I guess I should expect it. And it’s not that I have anything against marriage or weddings. In fact the real kicker is I would love to plan a wedding. Really, I love planning events, I love shopping, and I love fashion and coordination, all essential parts of a wedding. No, I am not one of those crazy girls who knows exactly what they want for their wedding and they’re just looking for the man to complete the picture. I would love to plan your wedding if you’re getting married; I can most certainly wait for my own.

No is this what I can expect as I get further into my 20s? I was looking forward to celebrating my friends’ graduations from graduate and law schools so I never thought about marriages. Quite honestly, at 22 years old, I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with another person. I am not ready for that level of commitment. I don’t even know what kind of career I want to pursue or even what outfit I’m going to wear in the morning to work. I also wonder, seeing as I work with the elderly, if girls my age are really thinking that you are most likely going to spend 50 or more years with this one person, forgoing all the fun of youth in favor of picking out paint for the living room and the possibility of a baby carriage (though at least they are getting married before the baby carriage, something some girls seem to have problems with nowadays). Sure, I would asolutely love to be in a loving, committed relationship with an amazing guy but since I’m not, I’m not going to miss out on all the fun of meeting cute, silly, funny guys in all sorts of places. Plus I look better after my last break up than I have in the past four years of college. I am not going to waste having a hot body that I didn’t even work for.

good things June 12, 2009

Now I know I posted yesterday about the things I was happy about. Compared today I feel like yesterday I barely counted my blessings. This week has been good, amazingly and wonderfully good. Like the world decided to turn right around and give me another chance at having fun. It’s no joke that this past month has been very difficult and I’ve felt less than 100 percent since I came home from school. But then this week, my birthday week, happened and things have changed:

I don’t feel so heartbroken anymore; I am ready to be grateful for the time we had together and more than grateful for the opportunity to meet someone else.

I realize that I am blessed with a family that loves me, especially my Mom. She has done so much for me this past month, supporting me emotionally and by letting me live at home. I am truly lucky.

I have the most amazing friends and thank you to Facebook for reminding me of that. Then of course there was last night; there is nothing better than going crazy with girls who have known you for almost a decade. And singing Livin’ on a Prayer certainly caps it all off. I had forgotten how a family can grow out of anything and be just as good as your biological one.

Finally I found out how lucky I am to be me. Because I work hard and try to be the best me I can be, I believe I have always made a good impression everywhere I go. It was proven to me today when I got rehired by the assisted living facility that I worked at two summers ago. Now I am not only employed but happily employed at a place where I have friends and I know I will have fun.

I have learned that life can be rough and it can feel like the world is working against you. But patience (not my favorite virtue) is needed and if you believe that you have worked hard and been a good person, good things will happen. And even if you think the world is against you, you always have your friends and family. I wish I had known all of this last week but I guess you have to learn the lesson first.

june 11th June 11, 2009

Every Thursday Gala Darling over at iCiNG does “Things I Love Thursday” to talk about all the things she appreciates and loves about her life. Well, since I can’t think of anything else to post that’s what I’m going to do, be a terrible copycat and post my list of things I love today. Plus I have been very negative lately about life when, honestly, I have nothing to complain about.

1. Mandy Moore’s new single “I Could Break Your Heart Any Day of the Week”- I didn’t know Mandy Moore still did music when I found this song on iTunes. It is so poppy and reminds me of middle school. Perfect for dancing around my room to.

2. Celebrating my birthday over and over again- my birthday was on Tuesday but it was rainy and thunderstormed so I ended up just hanging out, having a delicious portabello sandwich at lunch out, and making a Caramel Nut Pound Cake with my Mom, recipe courtesy of my favorite Paula Deen. To properly celebrate, I went into the city (that would be New York) and got to see the “Model as Muse” exhibit at the Met and had lunch at an Upper East Side restaurant, La Houppa. The antipasto was delicious with wonderful creamy Buffalo mozzarella, proscuitto, and fresh salad with the sweetest balsamic vinagrette. The pizza we ordered was just as delicious, a light thin crust with spicy Italian sausage ragu sauce. And for dessert, fried ravioli which was really puff pastry stuffed with chocolate and bananas, fried, with a side of berry sauce and pumpkin gelato. I love food. Tonight I am heading out to my hometown bar, the Ivy, to hang out with my lovely group of best friends. Birthdays are more amazing the more days you celebrate.

3. The Model as Muse exhibit at the Met- okay, this definitely needed its own recognition. It was amazing; by far the best museum exhibit I’ve seen in awhile. If you’re in the NYC area and have the opportunity to go see it, do it! It follows the history of the model chronologically mixing photographs, clothing, videos, and magazine spreads. Each decade has its own room with coordinated lighting, music, and decoration. It was a total immersion and so well done.

4. Giftcards- best invention ever, especially for someone who has no money for new clothes. Specifically mine are for JCrew and Anthropologie, two of my most favorite stores. Did someone say shopping spree?

5. Crushes- you’ve got to love that can’t-stop-thinking-about-him, what-am-I-going-to-wear, absolutely amazing feeling of a new crush. It gets even better when you have several.

That’s all I can think of for this Thursday, though I know I have a lot more to be happy about and thankful for. Alright, now it’s off to celebrate my birthday once again!